Archive | July, 2011

Keep It To Yourself

30 Jul

I get it, everyone has opinions but you don’t have to share all of them with me. Today Lila and I were out to lunch with one of my friends. We were getting up to leave and this lady came over to me and asked to see Lila. Of course I was flattered so I let her get an eyeful. She went on to tell me she has a granddaughter who is a week older than Lila. We talked for a bit and she started telling me her whole life story. She said they had been waiting for their granddaughter for 18 years and they finally got her. Then she let me know how old her daughter-in-law was and acting mortified that she would have a child at that age. She is 42, I was just thinking people do that all the time, I don’t find anything odd or wrong with that. She said her granddaughter had just learned how to start squealing and she told her son she probably did that when they picked her up from daycare because she was so glad to get out of that place. If she said it once she said it 10 times about how she couldn’t believe they had opted to put her in daycare. Making it sound as if they dropped her off at a crack house for 9 hours. She said I waited all this time for that baby and they go and put her in daycare. Really lady?

I was standing there thinking how do you know I don’t put my daughter in daycare, which I do. Yes, it is a small, in-home daycare but she still in one. She acted as if we were bonding over the fact that daycare was the devil. I guess this hit a nerve because it is always a tough choice to let someone care for child part of the time but you don’t always have a choice either. After I got done talking to this lady I was grateful for a few things….

1. That I wasn’t related to this woman.

2. That I have great in-laws who are super supportive.

3. That I was in a good mood so I just nodded and smiled instead of telling her what I really thought.

Then on the way home Lila told me she loves going to daycare and told me she loves me. Ok, I made that last part up but that’s what she would have told me if she could!

Lila’s version of smiling

29 Jul

She is gonna want to kill me one day for this but until then we can all have a good laugh:)

This was a couple months of go but I just found it.

sorry about the sideways angle

Hopes, wishes, pipe dreams

29 Jul

After I wrote my first post yesterday I realized that I wish I had started this from Lilas’ first days. However, the reading may have not been all that delightful. Remember how hard I told you it was? I wasn’t joking. If I had blogs from those first few weeks and you were a.) an expectant mother, I would have scared the living daylights out you b.) already a mother, you would have been grateful your child was no longer a newborn or c.) ever wanted kids in the future, you wouldn’t want them anymore. But luckily I have found out that the super hard period ends and everyday becomes much more fun. Now I feel like I could make those expectant mothers so excited about the new baby they are about to experience, make mothers of older children wish they were small again and make people who aren’t even sure they want kids want them.

Everyday has gotten easier and more entertaining. The things that I worried about in the beginning with Lila have faded away and now I have all new worries and concerns as I look into the future. I think raising girls is not something for the faint of heart. The more I think about it the more it worries me. Almost everyday I can witness some unruly teenage girl acting out against her mother and my only thought is “Dear God please don’t let that be Lila.” Josh and I talk often about how we want her to have the best life possible and when we look down at her we just imagine all she will do. Obviously, right now when I look at that sweet, innocent face I can’t imagine her doing any wrong but I know there will come a day when she will have her own independence and make her own decisions. I think my job for the next several years is to teach her right from wrong, show her what is ethical and pray that she will carry those lessons throughout her life. Over the past several months I will catch myself thinking “I hope Lila does this…”, “I hope Lila doesn’t do this….” and so on. Here are some of my hopes for Lila. I know some of them are just wishes and pipe dreams and sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn for the future but I can still hope πŸ™‚

-she has a solid group of friends who are a good influence (i was lucky enough to have this)

-her heart is never broken

-she loves to read, like her father

-doesn’t watch as much tv as her mother

-she doesn’t succumb to peer pressure

-that she knows being different isn’t a bad thing

-that she knows she can talk to me or Josh about anything

-she doesn’t fall for the “bad guy”

-she doesn’t have a smart mouth

-she always lets me hug her

-always dresses age appropriate

-shows respect, minds her manners

-loves unconditionally

and my hope for myself is that I can even come close to being the type of mother my mom was to me and still is.

I think of a new one about every 30 seconds so in reality this list could go on forever. I will spare you anymore because I am sure you get the idea.

My First Post!

27 Jul

Hi all! I decided I was going to start keeping a blog to document all things Lila and our time as a family. I had started keeping a handwritten journal but I have found that I fail to write in it everyday and I don’t always have it with me. I think having access to an online journal will be much more successful. I hope that this can serve as some type of baby book for Lila when she gets older and she can read all about our crazy times together.

The last 4 months have been a whirlwind. They have been the most exciting and hardest of my life. People always tell you that being a new mother is hard but it is difficult to understand until you actually do it. I kept asking my mom “why didn’t anyone tell me it was gonna be this hard?” They probably did tell me but I just wasn’t listening. For every hard moment, there is an equal moment that overwhelms me and makes me wonder how I have lived my life without Lila. I have been back to work for a little over 2 months and I love being able to have some adult interaction. It also makes me appreciate my time with Lila so much more. I tip my hat to every woman who is a stay at home mother. It is honestly the hardest job on the face of the earth. I found that out pretty quickly over maternity leave. We are blessed to have found a wonderful mother and babysitter who keeps Lila while we are both working. She gets lots of interaction with the other kids, there are only a few kids there so Lila gets lots of one on one attention, and she is happy as a lark when I drop her off and pick her up.

It is amazing to me how much she has already grown and the new things she discovers each and everyday. Lastnight we went for a walk and I had Lila in her baby bjourn. It was awesome to see her taking in her surroundings and just checking everything out. Then she would sweetly glance up at me and she just melted my heart. I never want to forget that. She has the sweetest little face and I tell her I am going to eat her up on a daily basis. Josh has to come check on me to make sure I’m not actually going to eat her! He thought it was weird when I said it but I caught him saying it the other day. I got a kick out of that.

Well I think this is a pretty good first post and I hope to be able to share all those little things that I want Lila to know. One pops in my head about every other minute. My tip for her yesterday: Don’t wear flip flops if you are going to take a walk that exceeds 20 minutes!

Here are a few recent pictures for you to enjoy:)

Her first cereal, she is clearly a fan!