Archive | March, 2012

An Afternoon With Mommy

29 Mar

Yesterday, I had a rare afternoon off in the middle of the week with Lila. Her babysitter had an appointment so I left work early and we spent the day playing.

I just love watching her and the changes she goes through everyday.

She was being incognito in the park.

We came home and frolicked in the yard. Yes, I am aware we need a goat…or we could probably just mow it.


Things Are Changing

28 Mar

Over the weekend Lila decided she was ready to walk everywhere instead of crawl. For the past few weeks she has been taking several steps and then sitting down to crawl. She realized though that she is capable of a better mode of transportation. It is amazing to watch her stand up and just go for it on her own. She is right on my heels now and no area of the house is left un-investigated. It is hilarious to watch because she still hasn’t started really bending her legs, so she does a real stiff-legged walk. Seeing those chubby little legs walking toward me and the smile on her face just warms me all over.

(Ignore the load of laundry in the floor that needs to be washed.)

Lila has a great appetite at the moment and has started eating almost everything we eat. She had a helping of lasagna last night that blew my mind, I finally had to cut her off. She has also made the switch from formula to whole milk and we also have transitioned her to the sippy cup full time. No more bottle. It took a couple of days for her to get the change down but she is doing really well now. I have to constantly remind myself that she can hold her own cup and drink by herself. For some reason I always want to reach over and help like she can’t possibly do it without me. We have also managed to finally cut out her middle of the night feeding. I was really dreading this but it only took about 2 or 3 nights to for her to realize that wash’t gonna happen anymore. I had pictured it being a lot harder so I am glad she made it easy on us. Next on the list of things to conquer is the pacifier. This one really scares me. She really only has to have it at naps and bedtime but it really does soothe her so I am not excited to experiment.

She is also about to get two new front teeth on the top! She is still loving to chew on everything because I am sure it feels good on her gums. She has done pretty well with them so far but did develop a high fever one night. We are pretty sure it was related to her teeth but when they can’t communicate with you it is so hard to know for sure. Fevers are scary stuff. I bet in the span of 2 days we took her temperature no less than 5o times. Two minutes would pass and we would think, let’s see what it is now, may be it has come down a little. I am sure it has a lot to do with us being first-time parents but it is so nerve-wracking.

Playtime has become a whole new ballgame these days. Lila can sit and play for periods of time now by herself. I am always right with her to make sure she can’t get into any trouble but she is so engaged in all her toys. We got her a little wagon for her birthday and we have been putting her in and taking her for rides through the house and out in the yard. She LOVES it. When it is time to get out she draws her arms in close to body and shakes sideways frantically letting me know she isn’t ready to get out. She isn’t gonna fit in it for too much longer though so she may have to learn to give her stuffed animals a ride in it.

Things are definitely busy but lots of fun!


Our Weekend

26 Mar

We had a fun and productive weekend!

Lila broke in her new birthday toys.

On Saturday morning I was able to get my long run in. I feel much more ready for the race now. My time may not be all that great but I feel like I can finish. My friend Emily played with Lila while I was out for a run. They had lots of fun and Lila got to try out some new headgear. She may be a runner one day!

Lila also carved some time out of her busy schedule to cheese for the camera.

And chat loudly in her crib while I documented.

BUT, most importantly…Lila danced.

This made me smile for the rest of the day:)

She Was Loud and Clear

23 Mar

As I drive the familiar streets from work, I begin to get butterflies in my belly. The anticipation of seeing Lila after hours away is exciting. I look forward to the toothy grin she will give me and her outstretched arms. I look forward to seeing that she has missed me and that I am filling a space that was meant just for mommy.

When I open the door I see my grinning girl but as I go to reach for her she starts to protest. She has had so much fun and is so worn out at the same time, she doesn’t want to leave. I just want a hug, a small snuggle but she isn’t in the mood. As I go to pick her up she continues to fuss and tries to wiggle her way out of my arms. I say, “Your hurting mommy’s feelings, I’ve missed you so much.” She is being heard loud and clear.

These were the events that took place yesterday when I picked her up from the babysitter. She loves it there and it is a great place for her to thrive. I know I am just being selfish wanting her preference to be mommy before anything or anyone else.

Is she preparing me for the days ahead? Maybe so, I have a feeling this won’t be the last time.


22 Mar

Loving:ย The extremely warm weather and extra daylight. We have been able to play outside and take advantage of the warm breeze on our faces and the cool feel of grass under our feet. I love getting home from work and still having some daylight to enjoy. It seems to put me in a funk when it gets dark so early. The extra daylight has been causing me to stay up later but it has been worth it.

Thinking about:ย Whether I am gonna be able to complete the half marathon in less than two weeks. I know I am definitely not where I need to be in order for it to be a smooth run. I feel like if I don’t do it though I am gonna be letting myself down on the goal set for myself months and months ago. I did a long, outside run on Sunday that included tons of hills and I am incredibly sore. The course here in Knoxville is known for its hills so I am not sure I am up to the challenge. I have exactly 5 days to decide whether I am in or out. I need some big time motivation.

Listening to:

Birdy is my new obsession. I’m not sure if I am behind the times on this or not but I wish I had discovered her music sooner.

Eating:ย At the moment I am eating a handful of goldfish….addictive. But in general I have been obsessed with this pasta dish I found on pinterest.

Tomato and mozzarella pasta al forno

Wishing:ย My office had a window on this beautiful day.

Mama Loves You

21 Mar

More than you will ever know.

Love, mama


21 Mar

As I write this I should be sitting at home recovering from my trip to Cleveland.

I never made it.

I have been suffering from vertigo like problems for over three years now. I have had every test under the sun and have been to see specialists about the condition. I will have to go into more detail about the whole problem at a later time.

Anyway, my dad was going to Cleveland Clinic to follow-up on his back surgery that he had a few months ago and we thought that might be the perfect time for me to tag along to see another specialist. It took an act of Congress to get our appointments scheduled on the same day and to figure out the hotel, flights, car service and a million other details.

On Monday the day had finally arrived for us to leave. I was a bit nervous because I don’t love to fly but I was looking forward to finally getting another opinion on my condition. Once we arrived at the airport we found out our flight to Charlotte had been delayed which was going to cause us to miss our connecting flight. They wouldn’t be able to get us there in time for the first appointment. “Aaahhhhhhhhhhhh!” That is me screaming in my head. All that planning down the tubes.

So, as of now we have things rescheduled for June 5th. It seems like a long a way off at the moment.


Lila’s First Birthday

19 Mar

Lila’s birthday went off without a hitch and we all had the best time. We had the party at my mom and dad’s house because our house is way too small to entertain large groups of people in. It turned out to be the perfect place. It was raining and misting around noon but by the time her party rolled around at 2, the sun was out and the birds were chirping.

With the exception of planning my wedding I don’t think I had planned anything partyish in years. I had all the ideas in my head and thought “Oh, that will only take a minute.” But, when you add all those little minutes together it snowballs into something larger than expected. Luckily we got to my parent’s house on Friday night and had time to decorate and get everything just the way we wanted.

I had been pulling ideas from pinterest, etsy and a few party planning sites for a couple of weeks. When it all came together I was pleased with the outcome. The banners are several cute fabrics I found and made strands out of and the tablecloths I thought were the perfect polka-dot pattern. The lanterns are recycled from our wedding so they found a new life in Lila’s birthday

This little photo montage was my favorite element of the party. Everyone enjoyed gathering around and looking at how Lila had changed over the past year.

Poor girl, no one brought her any presents ๐Ÿ˜‰ We are so blessed to have so many friends and family that love us and that wanted to celebrate the big day with us.

Mama and daddy posing with our big girl.

Uncle Brian joined the party via FaceTime from Seattle. He was sad he couldn’t be there, but he made up for it by sending her the entire toy store!

I love these shots we got after the party.

Overall we just had the best day. We have been blessed with the sweetest girl and more support than we deserve. Lila bug, you have made this year one to never forget. We love you.

Happy First Birthday

16 Mar


Last night you climbed in my lap and buried yourself securely under my arms. I read you your favorite bedtime story and you laid your cool face on my chest. You caressed Henry, the giraffe with one hand and wrapped your other one around my fingers. We rocked gently and I told you I loved you for the one-billionth time. We did this for the last time before you turned one.

This year has been fun, exhilarating, hard, surprising, scary and amazing. You name it and I have felt it. I just can’t express to you the immeasurable amount of joy you have brought to our lives. I hope you have enjoyed this year as much as we have.

Your smile and laugh light up the room and make the rest of the world melt away. I have been saying for the past couple of weeks that I have been a little sad and sappy about your first birthday. That is the truth, but I am also loving everyday with you. It is amazing to watch what each day brings and how much you change from moment to moment. You have started to give us kisses and hugs and I can tell you that my heart has never swelled so big. Sometimes I think it may pop out of my chest.

The love of a child has been written about so many times before but the words don’t seem to do it justice when it is your own child. Even as I sit here and try to convey to you how much I love you, the words just don’t seem to be enough.

You have made me a better person, less selfish, more understanding, happier and more patient. I thank you for that and I look forward to all the things you are going to teach me in the future. But, for now I am going to enjoy each day I have with you and take it moment by moment.

Lessons I Have Learned In The First Year of Motherhood

15 Mar

Before having children I think we all imagine the type of mother we will be. Saying I will do this or I will NEVER do that. Those are pretty bold statements to make before you actually have a child. As soon as you give birth and realize that you are responsible for this little life all the rules you set for yourself usually go out the window. It is definitely a learn as you go adventure and the learning is never over. Here are a few gems I have learned along the way.

It is way harder than I ever expected.

People can tell you til they are blue in the face that it is going to be hard. You can think you know but you never actually know until you are in the middle of it. Having a child is just a significant life change. One day you are only having to worry about yourself and then, BAM, you are responsible for a human being. There is nothing easy about that. Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that it is hard or that you weren’t prepared enough.

I ask for help when I need help.

In those first few months as a mother it was all very overwhelming ย and for a couple of weeks I had a battle with myself about actually admitting it. I was constantly surrounded by friends and family willing to do anything to help but some times I felt like I needed to do it all. You can’t do it all. If people are offering help, take it. I have called my mom more than once in the middle of the night asking for help, and she came every time. You can’t take care of a baby when you have food poisoning, I mean you can but not very well.

Don’t compare Lila to other children.

I had to learn this really quick. In the beginning I would get on the birth forum with many other mothers who had babies Lila’s age. Of course everyone wants to talk about their children’s milestones and accomplishments, which is great. However, you shouldn’t sit and think something is wrong with your baby because they haven’t smiled at you at 6 weeks on the dot. You can make yourself crazy doing this. Every child is different and they will do things in their own time. Let them develop in their own time.

The Dr. isn’t always right.

Just because the Dr. is the Dr. doesn’t mean his diagnose, opinion or suggestion is always the correct one. Sometimes your motherly instinct is better than what the Dr. tells you and you have to learn to trust yourself sometimes.

Me time is important

Whether it is 5 minutes outside, watching your favorite show once they are in bed, catching up on blogs, whatever it is, do it. It is easy to lose yourself in your new life and taking care of the little one. Just remember to cut out a sliver of time for yourself. It will re-engergize you and make you a better mom.

Quit with the guilt.

It is so easy to make yourself feel guilty when you become a mother. I never remember feeling guilt like this in my life. And seriously, some of it is over the pettiest most silly things. I didn’t keep up with the baby book, I took 5 minutes to take a shower, I’m not enjoying every moment and the list can go on forever…if you let it. Let me tell you, this is time wasted. Be the best you can be that day and go from there.

Take it one day at a time.

I have to be honest, when I look into the future and think about the what-ifs for Lila’s future it gives me anxiety. What if she is defiant, what if she doesn’t have friends, what if she has the wrong friends, what if she doesn’t want to go to college? Seriously? Yes, seriously. I have these thoughts all the time and many others. I shared this with my mom one day when I was particularly worried about something Lila may do when she was a toddler. She told me that is why we have today, to prepare us for when that day comes. We don’t’ have to have the answer right now and when the time comes we will probably know what to do from the experiences we have already had. My mom, she is smart as a whip! I repeat this to myself often.

Take lots of video.

I haven’t taken hours upon hours of video but I do have many good ones from the past year. I have loved going back and watching them and remembering the different stages she has been through. I imagine that I will cherish these even more the older she gets.

I am sure that I could think of many more important lessons that I left out but these were the ones that really stood out to me. I know it isn’t the same for everyone but this year has been eye-opening, life-changing, and wonderful. Even though it is difficult at times there is nothing I would trade it for.

What are lessons you have learned through motherhood?