Oh Crap!

28 Jun

(This little shiner on Lila’s head is from her tumble off the steps. She is all healed now!)

Some days I look at Lila and think “oh crap!” Even though we have been doing this parenting thing for 15 months now I still have my moments where I can’t believe I have a little human being that I am responsible for. Things have definitely gotten easier and we have found a routine that works for us but there are still challenges that arise everyday. I would consider myself an anxious person so it doesn’t surprise me that I have those little freak out moments. It is incredible to know that this little person fully depends on you to mold and shape them. If that isn’t pressure then I don’t know what is. Sometimes I get carried away with my thoughts. I wonder how Lila will turn out but then I talk to myself and realize we have to take this one day at a time. Some days are going to be so much fun filled with new adventures, on other days, naps will be skipped and breakdowns will occur…you just have to roll with the punches.

It can be very intimidating when looking at the big picture of raising a child. I think I am intimidated on a daily basis. “Am I doing this right? Am I screwing her up? Is she going to hate me? Oh crap.” See, that’s where that oh crap comes in. Each day that passes I find that I learn a little more and also become a little more humbled.

I often wonder how it will be if we decide to add more children to the mix. Some days it seems impossible and other days it seems like it wouldn’t be a big deal at all. If one kid makes me go “oh crap”, then what happens with multiples? I stayed home yesterday with Lila because she wasn’t feeling top notch. We ran to the grocery store to get a few things. While we were there a mother with three young children came in and she was doing her grocery shopping. The kids seemed to be having such a good time together and things seemed to be going pretty smoothly. However, I was over in the corner of the store with Lila staring at them thinking “OH CRAP!” I was really just looking at her with amazement trying to see how she was doing it so seamlessly. I am sure she has her “oh crap” moments everyday too and I think it is a completely normal thing for all parents to experience.

One day at a time people, one day at a time.

 

 

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