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Happy First Birthday

16 Mar


Last night you climbed in my lap and buried yourself securely under my arms. I read you your favorite bedtime story and you laid your cool face on my chest. You caressed Henry, the giraffe with one hand and wrapped your other one around my fingers. We rocked gently and I told you I loved you for the one-billionth time. We did this for the last time before you turned one.

This year has been fun, exhilarating, hard, surprising, scary and amazing. You name it and I have felt it. I just can’t express to you the immeasurable amount of joy you have brought to our lives. I hope you have enjoyed this year as much as we have.

Your smile and laugh light up the room and make the rest of the world melt away. I have been saying for the past couple of weeks that I have been a little sad and sappy about your first birthday. That is the truth, but I am also loving everyday with you. It is amazing to watch what each day brings and how much you change from moment to moment. You have started to give us kisses and hugs and I can tell you that my heart has never swelled so big. Sometimes I think it may pop out of my chest.

The love of a child has been written about so many times before but the words don’t seem to do it justice when it is your own child. Even as I sit here and try to convey to you how much I love you, the words just don’t seem to be enough.

You have made me a better person, less selfish, more understanding, happier and more patient. I thank you for that and I look forward to all the things you are going to teach me in the future. But, for now I am going to enjoy each day I have with you and take it moment by moment.

I Must Locate My Party Pants

23 Feb

Party planning for Lila’s first birthday is officially underway. Before I was a parent I thought it was kinda crazy to put too much hoo-rah into a child’s first birthday but now that it is quickly approaching  I have changed my mind. Yeah, she won’t remember it but I think Josh and I should get to celebrate for keeping her alive 🙂 The first year is a big milestone and you conquer so many things you didn’t realize you were capable of . So for that there will be a really cute party, with handmade decorations, good food and lots of friends.

Happy 11 Months!

16 Feb


You are growing too fast but you are so much fun.

Can you believe we are starting to talk about your 1st birthday? I think you are going to love it.

What are you up to these days?

-You are trying lots of new foods and seem to love most of them.

-Diaper changing has become quite a feat around our house. By the time we are able to get a new diaper on you, you manage you get it off in about 2.5 seconds.

-You are standing really well and are very curious.

-You will hand us a toy that you want to share and get extremely bashful after giving it to us. It is so cute.

-I can’t get a picture of you being still to save my life.

-You still only have 2 teeth but we expect more anytime now.

-You usually get up once during the night acting like you haven’t been fed in days. We seem to have gone backwards here.

-Your hair is very curly like mama’s.

-“Mama” and “Dada” are your two favorite words. You are starting to say “Bye Bye” quite a bit as well.

– You seem really interested in books. Mostly in ripping and eating them 🙂

-You are starting to attempt to hold your own bottle but only with much encouragement. You still aren’t making a lot of progress with the sippy cup.

-You have outgrown most of your sleepers but we are still squeezing you in them.

-You hug us and occasionally give us kisses which is probably the best thing on the face of the earth

-You came incredibly close to having your first taste of cat food yesterday but I managed to wrangle it from you.

We love you sweet girl, I can’t believe you have been here almost a year.

Happy 10 Months

17 Jan

You are 10 months lil buggy.

You are growing my leaps and bounds, it amazes me.

– you are getting more adventurous with your food and you are able to sample more of the things we are eating.

– I think you are going to be getting more teeth any time now because you chew on anything and everything, your gums are really swollen and you have been a little fussier than normal.

-you can pull every toy out in the room in 2 minutes flat.

– you understand “no” and when we say it to you, you shake your head. It is the cutest thing but we have to be careful not to laugh because I don’t think you are taking us serious.

– you have been waving “bye” this weekend

– you are now in a big girl carseat, but you are still facing backwards

– you love examining yourself in the mirror and you get so entranced you end up head-butting yourself

– you don’t love the jumper as much as you use to now that you have discovered you are mobile

– you are attracted to the cat and dog food dishes but luckily you haven’t managed to consume any yet (that I know about)

– you are starting to pay more attention when we read to you and you love the interactive books with flaps

-you are still sleeping very good except you past week you would wake up 2-3 times a night crying for no reason. After we came and tucked you back in you were fine.

-you still love bath time and we have started to incorporate toys. I am pretty sure you would stay in it all night if I would let you.

– you have no fear…of anything. This can be good and bad.

– you still love your pacifier but we are trying to give it to you less and less.

– you will not drink out of a sippy cup. I have one more kind to try and then I don’t know what we are gonna do.

-my best part of the day is when I go to pick you up after work and you give me the biggest smile when you see me.

– You are in a size 3 diaper, weigh about 22-23 pounds and are wearing 9-12 month clothes.

– We are starting to talk about your 1st birthday and that seems unreal.

– You can still stink up the house in about 5 minutes flat, those diapers go straight outside.


I just want you to know how loved you are and how you have enriched our lives over the past year. I know it is cliche but I didn’t know I could love something so much til you arrived. You have given us the understanding of responsibility, patience, and unconditional love.


Happy 9 Months

16 Dec

Happy 9 months my sweet Lila.

You have really started changing by leaps and bounds the past few weeks.

-You are crawling everywhere.

-Your hair is longer and curlier each day.

-You have a great appetite.

-Your laugh is infectious and can make the hardest day not so bad.

-You have so many people that love and care about you.

-You pull at your ears when you get sleepy.

-You love when I blow raspberries on your belly.

-Bath time is one of your favorite things, I think you might be a swimmer one day.

-You rub your Jill doll or giraffe to put you to sleep.

-You absolutely love Elmo.

-You weigh 21 pounds and are 28.25 inches tall.

You truly are such a happy baby. Your dad and I must have done something really good to deserve you. Each day is a new adventure and I never get tired of going on the journey with you. I am so thankful that you are happy and healthy. I love you sweet bug.

Happy 8 Months

16 Nov

Happy 8 Months lil bug. We love you so.

You like to grunt, giggle, scrunch your nose, pull hair, play with the phone, snuggle at bedtime, put EVERYTHING in your mouth, love on your babydoll and kick your shoes off.

We have been playing “Where’s Baby?” with you.

Here is a sample.

Josh and I may be having more fun than she is with this game.

Happy 7 Months

17 Oct


This month has gone by the quickest yet. I don’t know where the time has gone. You are growing so quickly, I am just trying to bottle up every moment. You are sitting up so well now and you love to sit and play with your toys all around you. You would really rather be standing than sitting and you try and pull up just about every chance you get. We have started to try more foods with you and you seem to love all of them. You have had peas, carrots, avocado, peaches, apples, and mashed potatoes. You are sleeping really well now and rarely get up in the middle of the night. As a matter of fact, you slept 13 hours one night this past weekend. That is your record so far.

You have started saying “mama” all the time and I can’t hear it enough. It makes me so happy. You have developed much better control of your hands and you can take your passy in and out as you please. You really love your pacifier and it may be a problem when we have to take it away but it makes life easier for the moment. Your laugh is infectious and you love to babble.

You have your first little cough right now and we went to the dr today. He seemed to think you were ok and you would be back to normal in a few days. It is really scary when you don’t feel good. I was up most of the night waiting for you to cough, and checking your breathing and temperature.

We love you so much and are thankful for each day we get to spend with you.

Happy Birthday Mama!

21 Sep

Happy Birthday to my wonderful Mama! I don’t know where I would be without you. This has definitely been a year for the record books and I am glad you were right by my side. I really couldn’t ask for a better mother, friend, role model and supporter. You have taught me so many things about being a mother and I don’t think I will ever be able to come close to being the mother you were to Brian and I. I find myself wishing on a daily basis that I can learn from your wisdom and give Lila everything you gave me. You aren’t just my mother but my best friend. I truly look forward to our days out and just spending one on one time together. You are one of the smartest, strongest people I know and I depend on your input for so many things. I think I have always known I was lucky to have you but since having Lila it helps me appreciate you in a whole new way. We are all so fortunate to have you in our lives. I love you more than you will ever know.

Lila wanted to say happy birthday too! She loves you and when you can’t be there she hugs her “Jill doll” extra tight.

Happy 6 Months

16 Sep


It boggles my mind that you are 6 months old today. I honestly don’t know where the time has gone. Everyday you bring something new to the table. You are rolling all over the place these days. If we get down in the floor I can’t look away for a moment because you will be on the other side of the room. You are starting to push up with your arms and legs and I have a feeling that you are going to be crawling in no time. You can sit up by yourself for several seconds before you face-plant! You started saying “dada” this week non-stop. For every time you say “dada” I say “mama” back to you…haha! I am actually really proud of you and your daddy couldn’t be happier about it but for some reason you won’t say it when he is around. I know the word “mama” is just around the corner. You have a great appetite and you have had cereal, avocados, carrots, and peas. You like to try and help mommy when I am feeding you and it turns into quite the mess, but it is very cute. Since we have started you on solids you are sleeping better through the night. I guess the dr. was right, you were hungry! We have also stopped swaddling you. I didn’t think that would ever happen. You loved it for so long and then one night you simply weren’t having it anymore. You LOVE music. Anytime you get upset in the car, you instantly calm down if I turn the radio up. It is really obvious when you get sleepy, you rub your eyes and look like you are about to fall over.

Some of my favorite things about you right now….

• The way you grin at me when I pick you up from daycare.

• You love falling asleep on mommy and daddy after your last feeding of the night. Snuggling with you is the best.

• How excited you get in your jumparoo, you love that thing and just stomp your lil feet.

• Your chitter chatter.

• We found your ticklish spot and I love to hear you laugh when we tickle you.

• The doggies thrill you and you love to pet them.

• Your baby snores.

• Your cheeks, I bet I kiss your cheeks a hundred times a day…I just can’t resist


Things you HATE

• the booger sucker

• when mommy picks at your toes

• when we try to wipe your face off

• when mommy won’t make your bottle fast enough


The 1 thing I HATE:

• Your poopy diapers. They are hardcore, Lila.


Lila, I really can’t imagine this life without you. You are so sweet and bring me happiness everyday. I hope you know how loved you are.


Look, you can’t believe you are six months either!


My Birth Story

19 Aug

I have been meaning to write this down for quite some time while it is still fresh in my head. So here we go. On the morning of Wednesday,March 16, 2011 I woke up feeling very crampy and was having a difficult time sleeping. I didn’t really think too much of it because the Saturday before the same thing had happened. When it happened on Saturday I went to triage to get checked out. I was having small contractions but nothing major so they sent me home. Then the following Monday I had a dr’s. appointment. My dr was out of town so I had to go see her back-up. She said it didn’t really seem like anything was happening and I was probably going to make it at least until my dr. got back in town that Friday, the 18th. So I was discouraged and went about my day. I was just so ready to have her. My original due date was March 23rd so I was not overdue but just really uncomfortable. I woke up everyday thinking that could be the day. Back to Wednesday, I got up and got ready for work even though I was having cramps still. Once I got to work the cramping continued and once I got there my co-workers asked me “Why did you even come in?” They wanted me to go back to the hospital to get checked out. I was reluctant to do this because I didn’t want to be that first time mom that goes to the hospital 6 times before they actually have the baby thinking every pain is a sign of labor. But, since I had been having pain for a couple of hours I went on to the hospital. Josh was at work and I didn’t want to call him until I found out if it was really go time. They hooked me up to the monitors and my contractions were pretty strong every 3-5 minutes. I was just sure they were going to admit me so I called my mom to tell her I thought it was time. She was so excited and had been waiting for the call to come in at any moment. She said she was going to leave work and go get her things and she would be there as soon as possible. After about 3 hours of being hooked up to the monitors the nurse came in and told me I could go home. I was so disappointed.  She said to come back when the pain was excruciating or my water broke. So right as they were letting me go my mom arrived. I was starving because I hadn’t eaten breakfast and they had a cooking show on the entire 3 hours making it even worse. Since my mom was already there we decided to go have lunch. We had a great lunch at Aubrey’s and then decided we would go fabric shopping. During this whole time I was still having contractions every 3-5 minutes. They weren’t super painful but I could tell they were getting more intense. Every time I had one my mom said to repeat the word “good!” She said every contraction was one step closer to labor. So we were walking around the fabric store saying “good” to each other over and over again. I am sure we sounded like two crazy people. We were in the fabric store for about and hour (and found some really cute fabric!) We were walking out to the car deciding what we were going to do next and as I went to sit down my water broke! It was a crazy feeling, I thought maybe I just peed on myself, I know TMI! Luckily my mom had a towel in the car so I got situated and we called the hospital as we drove back to my house. They told me to come in immediately and they would have a room for me! I guess everything hit me all of a sudden and I thought, ” I could have waited just one more day!” After being so excited and so ready I then felt I wasn’t ready at all. We had to stop by my house to get my bags. I had Lila’s bags packed for about two weeks but I didn’t have mine ready. I was throwing all kinds of stuff in my bag, but wasn’t thinking clearly.

We arrived to the hospital and got checked in. I thought it was funny that I was sitting there filling out paperwork. You always see the movies where it is a mad dash to the hospital and everything is so chaotic. But it was really as if nothing big was happening, I was just sitting there having a conversation while filling out insurance forms. They sent me up to the room to get changed and hooked up to everything right about 4:10pm. Since my dr. was still out of town, her back-up was my dr. that day. She came by to check on my progress. She asked me if I wanted to go ahead and get an epidural? I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant was going to get and epidural. I am not really one for pain and knew I wasn’t going to handle it gracefully. I really thought the moment I was in labor I would call the hospital and tell them to meet me in the parking lot with the epidural but I told the dr. I wasn’t really in too much pain yet and I could wait a little longer. She advised me to go ahead and get it. She said that by the time I figured out I wanted it I was going to be in alot of pain and would wish I had just gone ahead earlier. I took her advice because I figured she had done this once or twice. I forgot to mention I had called Josh as soon as my water broke and he left work asap. Josh and I neither one are very good with seeing needles and blood so he left the room when the anesthesiologist  came in. It had probably only been about 10 min. since the dr. had told me to go ahead with the epidural and the pain was already unbearable by the time the meds arrived. My nurse had a student following her that day and I guess the anesthesiologist thought showing her how to do my epidural would be a good learning experience. So he was taking his dear, sweet time explaining every step of the process while I sat there billowed over in pain. His first few attempts to numb me didn’t work and I thought “Great, I am going to be one of those people who the epidural doesn’t work on.” Luckily it finally took and after about 15 min. I was completely pain free. What a miracle epidurals are! It really relaxed me and I almost felt as though I could take a nap. About 7:00pm they checked my progress and I was about 4cm so they decided to give me a little pitocin to get things moving along. All this time I had family in the room with me, my parents, Josh, my brother and Josh’s mom were all there to keep me entertained. Nothing was really happening and about 8:00 American Idol came on and we were all just watching and commenting. It is funny that I was in labor but we were just all watching tv like it was any other day. I called Jamie about 8:45 to see if her and Major were still coming to the hospital and she said they were going to be leaving in the next few minutes. I told her it was no rush and that it would probably be awhile. It wasn’t but about 10 minutes after that the nurse came in to check me and said I was fully dilated and ready to go. I was in disbelief and didn’t think I had heard her correctly. I didn’t know how it could already be time. I had been prepared for the long haul, I had a box of italian ice to munch on and had only had one so far. I wasn’t ready, how could this be? They said they were going to sit me up for a little bit so Lila could move down on her own to reduce pushing time. As they went to sit me up I got really light-headed and thought I was either going to throw-up or pass out. They got me a wet wash cloth and let me sit for a while and brought me to a sitting position little by little. At about 9:45 the nurses were giving me instructions on how to push and told me I could go ahead and start to get warmed up. Everyone except for my mom, Josh’s mom, Josh, and about 12 hospital employees left the room. They had extra nurses in the room because there had been some meconium in my water and they thought it may be in Lila’s lungs. It was crazy to have all these people I didn’t know in the room during such a personal time but all shyness went out the window. I pushed about 4 times and the nurses had me stop. They said if I kept pushing Lila was going to arrive before the dr. So, I sat there awkwardly looking at this group of people around me waiting on the dr. The dr. arrived about 10 minutes later. Once she got there I think I pushed about 4-5 more times and Lila was here. The dr. said “you did so good, you are built for having babies!” It was incredible, I couldn’t believe it happened so quickly and that it was pain-free. I got to hold Lila on my chest for just a moment before they took her away to check her lungs and vitals. I was just laying there staring at hear as they checked her asking if she was ok. She was perfect. She was born at 10:20pm and weighed 8lbs 8oz and 2o inches long. She was a big girl. She ripped me coming out so I also had to have some stitches, which really ended up being the most painful part in the days following. The rest of the night was kind of blur. All our family was in the room and Lila was being passed around. Jamie and Major made it in time too! I think I finally went to sleep that night at about 2 in the morning and I was delirious. But our sweet baby girl was here and life has been a whirlwind ever since.

My brother took some video of Lila shortly after she arrived. I am so glad he took this footage because it is hard to remember this as more time passes. I can’t believe she was so small.

Hopefully you can view it.