Tag Archives: motherhood

15 Months

22 Jun

Happy 15 months buggy! (I’m a few days late.)

Awesome things about you:

– you are babbling up a storm and are sneaking new words in on us everyday

– you are sprouting teeth all over your mouth which is helping you try a variety of food

– you are a little welcome wagon everywhere we go, waving to people and blowing kisses

– you have taken a big interest in books lately and want to bring one with you everywhere you go

– you voluntarily come and climb in our laps and give us leg hugs

– your curly hair is getting really long and is starting to get uncontrollable….I think it is so cute though so I just let it do its thing

Not so awesome things:

– a few weeks ago you took a bite out of the babysitter’s leather couch….we got it repaired for her

– you have no fear of anything, the other day you wiggled away from me and fell down our front porch steps. You gave me a heart attack and you have quite and impressive knot on your head

– the mosquitoes love you and we can’t go outside for any length of time without them nibbling away at your sweet skin

– you still like to get up really early….mommy is not a morning person

My favorite time with you is still in the evening right before bedtime. You will let me snuggle you close and lie your head on my shoulder. It is such a peaceful time and I always look forward to it.

You have our hearts in your hand. We love you.

Steppin Out – Mother’s Day Weekend

14 May

Mother’s Day weekend was filled with lots of friends and family.

I got to attend a good friend’s wedding and hang out with my best girls:)

Lila and Josh had a daddy and daughter afternoon and went to see family in Newport. I hate I had to miss it but the wedding was lots of fun!

We had some JLJ time. We have called ourselves this since high school. (Jamie, Laura,Jamie) Baby Bray is making his presence known though, so he got to be included:)

What I’m wearing: Dress> Francesca’s Belt>Francesca’s

Sunday morning we had brunch at Copper Cellar with my parents. This was our best attempt at a family photo. Lila was exhausted and ready for a nap so she wasn’t up for picture time.

My loves.

My sweet girl.

Me and my mama. Love her.

What I’m wearing: Dress> thrifted  Belt> Francesca’s

I hope all you mama’s had a wonderful Mother’s Day.


For Mama

11 May

For as long as I can remember I have always written a sweet note to my mama on Mother’s Day telling her how much she means to me and what a great mom she is. I don’t think I truly understood just how incredible she is until this past year. As I am finding out for myself what it takes to be a mother I realize I owe her so many more hugs and thank you’s. It is hard to appreciate your mom to the fullest extent until you have become a mom your self. It is then that you really understand all the little and big things your mom did for you throughout your life. I have told my mom several times over the past year that if I can be half the mother she is to me then I will feel accomplished.

Growing up my mom wasn’t super strict but she let me know where I stood and what was expected of me. We had a great time together but I wouldn’t say we were friends while growing up.  Now, though, I consider her my best friend. I talk to her almost every single day on the phone, I take Lila to see her and my dad about every other weekend and when they are in town they come see us. I hope I can be a great mother to Lila  in order to one day be her best friend.

We have had so many amazing times over the years and she has always been there for me. Now that I am a mother I love being able to go to her for reference. Did you do this with me? How did you handle that? Is this normal? It is great to be able to draw from her experience.

My mom showed me that being a mother means being selfless, putting your wants and needs on hold and wanting to take a nap so badly but playing pretend with your daughter instead. 🙂

When I was small and didn’t appreciate sleep the way I do now I wouldn’t give my mom a moment’s peace. She would say “I am gonna lay down for 15 minutes and then we can play.” I would respond with an “ok” like I completely got it and I was going to let her get some rest. I might have given her 3 minutes before I went back in to ask her if she was ready to play. I have a feeling this will be coming back my way with a little girl named Lila bug.

It is difficult to put into words how special my mom is and how lucky I am to have her. I am so happy that my daughter also gets to experience her loving touch and generous heart.

Mother’s Day 2011


Things Are Changing

28 Mar

Over the weekend Lila decided she was ready to walk everywhere instead of crawl. For the past few weeks she has been taking several steps and then sitting down to crawl. She realized though that she is capable of a better mode of transportation. It is amazing to watch her stand up and just go for it on her own. She is right on my heels now and no area of the house is left un-investigated. It is hilarious to watch because she still hasn’t started really bending her legs, so she does a real stiff-legged walk. Seeing those chubby little legs walking toward me and the smile on her face just warms me all over.

(Ignore the load of laundry in the floor that needs to be washed.)

Lila has a great appetite at the moment and has started eating almost everything we eat. She had a helping of lasagna last night that blew my mind, I finally had to cut her off. She has also made the switch from formula to whole milk and we also have transitioned her to the sippy cup full time. No more bottle. It took a couple of days for her to get the change down but she is doing really well now. I have to constantly remind myself that she can hold her own cup and drink by herself. For some reason I always want to reach over and help like she can’t possibly do it without me. We have also managed to finally cut out her middle of the night feeding. I was really dreading this but it only took about 2 or 3 nights to for her to realize that wash’t gonna happen anymore. I had pictured it being a lot harder so I am glad she made it easy on us. Next on the list of things to conquer is the pacifier. This one really scares me. She really only has to have it at naps and bedtime but it really does soothe her so I am not excited to experiment.

She is also about to get two new front teeth on the top! She is still loving to chew on everything because I am sure it feels good on her gums. She has done pretty well with them so far but did develop a high fever one night. We are pretty sure it was related to her teeth but when they can’t communicate with you it is so hard to know for sure. Fevers are scary stuff. I bet in the span of 2 days we took her temperature no less than 5o times. Two minutes would pass and we would think, let’s see what it is now, may be it has come down a little. I am sure it has a lot to do with us being first-time parents but it is so nerve-wracking.

Playtime has become a whole new ballgame these days. Lila can sit and play for periods of time now by herself. I am always right with her to make sure she can’t get into any trouble but she is so engaged in all her toys. We got her a little wagon for her birthday and we have been putting her in and taking her for rides through the house and out in the yard. She LOVES it. When it is time to get out she draws her arms in close to body and shakes sideways frantically letting me know she isn’t ready to get out. She isn’t gonna fit in it for too much longer though so she may have to learn to give her stuffed animals a ride in it.

Things are definitely busy but lots of fun!


Our Weekend

26 Mar

We had a fun and productive weekend!

Lila broke in her new birthday toys.

On Saturday morning I was able to get my long run in. I feel much more ready for the race now. My time may not be all that great but I feel like I can finish. My friend Emily played with Lila while I was out for a run. They had lots of fun and Lila got to try out some new headgear. She may be a runner one day!

Lila also carved some time out of her busy schedule to cheese for the camera.

And chat loudly in her crib while I documented.

BUT, most importantly…Lila danced.

This made me smile for the rest of the day:)

Lessons I Have Learned In The First Year of Motherhood

15 Mar

Before having children I think we all imagine the type of mother we will be. Saying I will do this or I will NEVER do that. Those are pretty bold statements to make before you actually have a child. As soon as you give birth and realize that you are responsible for this little life all the rules you set for yourself usually go out the window. It is definitely a learn as you go adventure and the learning is never over. Here are a few gems I have learned along the way.

It is way harder than I ever expected.

People can tell you til they are blue in the face that it is going to be hard. You can think you know but you never actually know until you are in the middle of it. Having a child is just a significant life change. One day you are only having to worry about yourself and then, BAM, you are responsible for a human being. There is nothing easy about that. Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that it is hard or that you weren’t prepared enough.

I ask for help when I need help.

In those first few months as a mother it was all very overwhelming  and for a couple of weeks I had a battle with myself about actually admitting it. I was constantly surrounded by friends and family willing to do anything to help but some times I felt like I needed to do it all. You can’t do it all. If people are offering help, take it. I have called my mom more than once in the middle of the night asking for help, and she came every time. You can’t take care of a baby when you have food poisoning, I mean you can but not very well.

Don’t compare Lila to other children.

I had to learn this really quick. In the beginning I would get on the birth forum with many other mothers who had babies Lila’s age. Of course everyone wants to talk about their children’s milestones and accomplishments, which is great. However, you shouldn’t sit and think something is wrong with your baby because they haven’t smiled at you at 6 weeks on the dot. You can make yourself crazy doing this. Every child is different and they will do things in their own time. Let them develop in their own time.

The Dr. isn’t always right.

Just because the Dr. is the Dr. doesn’t mean his diagnose, opinion or suggestion is always the correct one. Sometimes your motherly instinct is better than what the Dr. tells you and you have to learn to trust yourself sometimes.

Me time is important

Whether it is 5 minutes outside, watching your favorite show once they are in bed, catching up on blogs, whatever it is, do it. It is easy to lose yourself in your new life and taking care of the little one. Just remember to cut out a sliver of time for yourself. It will re-engergize you and make you a better mom.

Quit with the guilt.

It is so easy to make yourself feel guilty when you become a mother. I never remember feeling guilt like this in my life. And seriously, some of it is over the pettiest most silly things. I didn’t keep up with the baby book, I took 5 minutes to take a shower, I’m not enjoying every moment and the list can go on forever…if you let it. Let me tell you, this is time wasted. Be the best you can be that day and go from there.

Take it one day at a time.

I have to be honest, when I look into the future and think about the what-ifs for Lila’s future it gives me anxiety. What if she is defiant, what if she doesn’t have friends, what if she has the wrong friends, what if she doesn’t want to go to college? Seriously? Yes, seriously. I have these thoughts all the time and many others. I shared this with my mom one day when I was particularly worried about something Lila may do when she was a toddler. She told me that is why we have today, to prepare us for when that day comes. We don’t’ have to have the answer right now and when the time comes we will probably know what to do from the experiences we have already had. My mom, she is smart as a whip! I repeat this to myself often.

Take lots of video.

I haven’t taken hours upon hours of video but I do have many good ones from the past year. I have loved going back and watching them and remembering the different stages she has been through. I imagine that I will cherish these even more the older she gets.

I am sure that I could think of many more important lessons that I left out but these were the ones that really stood out to me. I know it isn’t the same for everyone but this year has been eye-opening, life-changing, and wonderful. Even though it is difficult at times there is nothing I would trade it for.

What are lessons you have learned through motherhood?

Work It Mama

14 Mar

It doesn’t seem like there are enough hours in the day.

I work outside the home during the week so for the majority of the day I don’t get to see Lila. Once I pick her up after work we usually have a schedule of dinner, play, bath, a little more play, and bedtime. On most days Josh and I get to see her for about 2 hours after work. It just doesn’t seem like enough. I love my job and I enjoy getting to interact outside the home and be creative but a lot of the times I feel like life isn’t balanced.

A lot of times I feel guilty for being gone all day and missing precious moments.

It is hard to find the time to clean, work-out, cook and etc. If I want to work-out I usually have to do it during my lunch break at work. If I try and cook a nice dinner I feel like I am taking time away from Lila and if I wait til after she goes to bed we aren’t eating til 9 at night.

Many times I think to myself I wish I could stay home and I would get so much more done. Only in reality I know that is not the case. On the weekends when we are home with Lila all day there are still a million things to be done with things left on the list at the end of the day. Also, I learned when I was on maternity leave that staying home full-time is probably more challenging than any job outside the home. I think stay-at-home mamas are some of the hardest working people around.

I wish there was a happy medium where I didn’t have to work as much and I could stay home more but that isn’t realistic for our young family. We both have to work to keep things going. It just makes me realize that no matter which side of the fence you fall on things aren’t going to be perfect. There is no simple solution to getting everything done and being everything to everyone. Whether you work outside the home or stay-home, sacrifices have to made, schedules have to be tweaked, and there will never be enough hours in the day.

The important thing to remember is to make the most of the time you have.

Play By Play Sunday

5 Mar

Scaling the tv. Giving G-Mama my shy face. Being a stinker.

“Let’s go G-Mama, it’s playtime.”

“Look at my fancy new hat!”

“Mom, this better not show up on the internets, I’m serious.”

“Ok, you can put one up, as long as it is my good side.”

“I must do a taste test of the hat….delicious.”

“That was exhausting, let’s take a nap.”

Happiness Makes the Heart Ache

2 Mar


As I watch Lila play in the evenings I long for her to stay this age forever. I love to see the wonderment, pride, and enthusiasm on her face as she discovers new things. Then, I realize that in each stage of her life there are going to be these wonderful moments that I simply want to bottle up and keep forever.

My heart aches for the moment because I am so happy I don’t want it to end. Only to realize upon waking each day that it has gotten better than I could have imagined.

I will take pictures of these moments, snuggle you close to me, breathe in your sweet aroma, tickle your tummy and toes, and play peek-a-boo to no end. I will cherish these moments I have with you.