Tag Archives: parenting

Catching Up…

24 Apr

Things have been busy around here lately.

One of the biggest changes we have experienced in the last few weeks is Lila starting pre-school. She had her first day about 2 weeks ago and has been doing fairly well. The first few days went really smoothly and she was able to walk into her classroom in the morning and start playing immediately. After about 3 days things got a little hairy. When I would walk her to her classroom she started bawling and clung to me for dear life. It was one of those hysterical cries where you can’t catch your breath. Nothing is worse than watching your child in pain, no matter what the reason. I tried to console her and reassure her that I was coming back and that she was going to have a great time playing. The longer I stayed the worse it got. So I finally had to peel her off of me and just leave. It was heartbreaking. Her teacher is great and she texted me throughout the day to let me know Lila had calmed down and she was doing great. That made my day a bit better but it is hard to start your day that way. That same scenario played out for the next week and even though I knew she would calm down once I left it was still very upsetting. When she went back this week though things changed. As soon as we walk in her classroom she rips off her little pink jacket and she is off to find her first toy of the day. No hugs for mom. But that’s ok, I would rather her ignore me than be upset that I am leaving. I love picking her up in the afternoon because she usually gives me the best greeting. When I peak my head around the corner, her face lights up and she runs full speed toward me for a hug. She busted my face one day but it was worth it:) She had been at an in-home daycare up until this point and it was great but we felt that it was time to start having more socialization and to be in a school-like setting. So far, we are really happy with it and the best thing is that she seems to love it too.

2013-04-20 18.16.22

2013-04-06 17.27.29

2013-04-06 13.00.04

In my downtime I have been sewing and making mobiles non-stop. I received a large order that has to be completed within the month’s end. I am almost done and it has been really exciting to work on such a large order. My dining room table has been consumed by birds and they are shoved in every nook and cranny of the house.

2013-04-10 18.53.34

2013-04-23 22.39.08

Jamie and I have 3 days until our half marathon in Nashville! I am really excited but I am also a bundle of nerves. I always get nervous before any competitive event so I will have get through the first mile or two before I calm down. Jamie and I got some really funky pants to run in. I don’t think we will be lost in the crowd:) I’m also thinking these slippers would be really comfy to run in as well.

2013-04-22 19.10.50

 

I’m looking forward to a fun girls weekend and a challenging run!

Finding Confidence in Motherhood

20 Aug

When we brought Lila home from the hospital my mom stayed with us for two weeks while we developed a routine and adjusted to all the change. When it was time for her to leave I squalled like a baby. I didn’t think I could do it without her and I wanted her there by my side to talk me through every move. I remember thinking I would never have time to fix myself a meal again or get dressed, I was completely overwhelmed. As a few weeks passed I found my footing and grew more confident. I knew what Lila needed and when she needed it. Those moments when you can give your child what they need are so satisfying. But, then in the next moment you are letting them fall off the couch. FAIL. Just as we thought we had her figured out she started to enter a new phase of mobility that was a whole new ballgame. That’s the tricky thing about this whole parenting gig, right when you get comfortable everything changes.

I feel like we are in the middle of huge change with Lila right now. She is developing such a personality and becoming so independent. It is incredible to watch but terrifying all at the same time. She is so active and on the go that at times I think I have to be the most boring person in the world to her. It is in these times when I have to dig down deep and find the confidence I know I have. I have to allow myself to let loose and have a good time and not feel like every second of the day has to be planned out. It is easy to fear that you won’t be enough for your child or give them everything they need. Then, I look down at the end of the day and I see she is thriving, laughing and playing and I know we are doing the best we can. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it is my best because there are hard days….days when things aren’t easy or come natural. But, I’ve decided that’s ok, that’s just life and things are never going to be smooth sailing all the time.

I guess I have found with being a mother that I worry a lot more than I ever thought I would. Mainly about things that are completely out of my control. Lila and I were with my mom running errands the other day and she whispered to Lila, “Don’t tell your mama but you never stop worrying about your children.” It hit me then, whether your children are 3 or 30 they are still your children and you will always worry about their well-being. I am trying to focus on this moment in front me and making the best decisions for today.

Some days the confidence comes easy other days it takes a little digging.

Oh Crap!

28 Jun

(This little shiner on Lila’s head is from her tumble off the steps. She is all healed now!)

Some days I look at Lila and think “oh crap!” Even though we have been doing this parenting thing for 15 months now I still have my moments where I can’t believe I have a little human being that I am responsible for. Things have definitely gotten easier and we have found a routine that works for us but there are still challenges that arise everyday. I would consider myself an anxious person so it doesn’t surprise me that I have those little freak out moments. It is incredible to know that this little person fully depends on you to mold and shape them. If that isn’t pressure then I don’t know what is. Sometimes I get carried away with my thoughts. I wonder how Lila will turn out but then I talk to myself and realize we have to take this one day at a time. Some days are going to be so much fun filled with new adventures, on other days, naps will be skipped and breakdowns will occur…you just have to roll with the punches.

It can be very intimidating when looking at the big picture of raising a child. I think I am intimidated on a daily basis. “Am I doing this right? Am I screwing her up? Is she going to hate me? Oh crap.” See, that’s where that oh crap comes in. Each day that passes I find that I learn a little more and also become a little more humbled.

I often wonder how it will be if we decide to add more children to the mix. Some days it seems impossible and other days it seems like it wouldn’t be a big deal at all. If one kid makes me go “oh crap”, then what happens with multiples? I stayed home yesterday with Lila because she wasn’t feeling top notch. We ran to the grocery store to get a few things. While we were there a mother with three young children came in and she was doing her grocery shopping. The kids seemed to be having such a good time together and things seemed to be going pretty smoothly. However, I was over in the corner of the store with Lila staring at them thinking “OH CRAP!” I was really just looking at her with amazement trying to see how she was doing it so seamlessly. I am sure she has her “oh crap” moments everyday too and I think it is a completely normal thing for all parents to experience.

One day at a time people, one day at a time.

 

 

Our Parents Lie Too

28 Feb

Yes, that’s right, don’t think your parents haven’t lied to you.

As a kid I loved all the colorful cereal as most children do. My mom is a dietician so our choices were usually Cheerios or Raisin Bran. I guess I didn’t know anything else even existed until I started going to my friend’s houses. I suspect that is where I snuck and discovered the luxury of sugared cereal.

I remember being at the grocery store with my mom and asking her to get box of the colorful, sugary flakes. Her response was that I was allergic to them and would break out in a rash if I ate them. You would think I would have known better since I had had them before Β and didn’t have a rash. But, apparently I have always been pretty gullible. I guess over the years I had asked for the cereal on different occasions and the answer was always, “You’re allergic.” I thought, well my mom told me so, so I must be.

It wasn’t until I was approaching my 20’s that my mom and I happened to be talking about allergies or childhood or something related to that when I uncovered her deep, dark secret.

I WAS NEVER ALLERGIC TO THE CEREAL.

The nerve. She said that lie was going to come in handy one day.

I believe she may be right.

I have a feeling Lila may have inherited my allergy.

Lies We Tell….Our Parents

22 Feb

Let’s face it, we all do it or have done it in the past. I think it is natural that there are little secrets we have and times we glaze over things in order to avoid dissapointment. I always told my parents a lot. There were very few things I kept from them because I think I had a guilty conscious. Everyday I think about what Lila is going to be like when she gets older and I wonder about the type of relationship we will have. I hope she feels she can share things with me as I did with my parents. Let’s be clear, of course there were times I wasn’t honest and didn’t always come clean. I find it entertaining now to sit down with my parents and say “Remember that one time I said such and such?”…well it didn’t really happen that way. We have a good laugh about it now.

I thought I would share one of those times. It makes me laugh thinking about it.

On my 20th birthday, myself and my BFF’s went to get our first tattoo. We were giddy, nervous, and so excited all at the same time. We had been discussing our plans to do this for a while and had sketches and everything to take with us. Even though we were all technically adults we all knew that none of our parents would really approve or be in favor of the tattoos. Apparently I wasn’t overly concerned with hiding mine because I had mine all of a week before my mom discovered it. She took me shopping for clothes as she did so many times before and as I was busy trying on the next article of clothing I didn’t think to conceal my back. She didn’t even bust me on it at that moment, she waited a while and brought it up in conversation later. I really don’t think she was even that mad but I do remember her asking me if I knew it was gonna be there forever? I am sure I had some smart little response. Lord help me when Lila is a teenager. Anyway, overall I felt that I had just kinda let her down. However, we never talked about whether she was gonna tell my dad or not. I guess she didn’t because some months later I was home from college for the weekend hanging out in my pajamas. I was leaning over looking in the fridge when I heard my dad say, “Laura, I hope that isn’t a tattoo on your back.” I’m pretty sure I broke out into a sweat.

In my head….” OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP….what do I say?”

What I really said…”Oh it’s not daddy, it’s one of those henna tattoos. It will be gone in a few months.”

And we haven’t talked about it since. It think he may be onto me though, 9 years later and it hasn’t faded a bit. That’s some good henna:)