Tag Archives: siblings

The Inconsistencies of Parenthood

18 Apr

My brother, Brian is 4 years older than me so as we were growing up I watched with envy as he got to experience things I wasn’t old enough for. I watched him get a car, hang out with friends, go to concerts, drive out of town and an assortment of other fun activities. I was taking mental notes and making little reminders about how old he was when he was allowed to do all these fun things. I remember when I finally reached high school and thought I knew everything and should be given all the freedoms in the world. I wasn’t allowed to drive out of town, stay out past a certain time or go certain places. The first thing out of my mouth when my parents told me I couldn’t do something was, “But you let Brian do that when he was younger than me, it’s not fair…..blah, blah, wah, wah.” They told me it was different and that the rules that applied to my brother wouldn’t always apply to me. I could not understand and wondered how such an injustice could take place.

Now this seems quite funny. Now that I have a daughter all of my parent’s rules seem to make complete sense.

I now understand how there can be one set of rules for boys and another for girls. There are probably a complete separate sheet of rules that come with each individual kid no matter what the sex. I realize now that you have to parent to your child’s personality, spirit and attitude. Even though, at times I feel like I may have Lila figured out….the next one (if there is a next one) will probably be nothing like her and we will have to learn to parent in a whole new way.

For instance, when my parents and I would argue when I was a teenager it didn’t take much for me to get my feelings hurt and simply resign to my room. The way I fought back was to sulk. My brother, however, was more vocal. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why he got to do more. He didn’t sulk or shy away from confrontation, he would push the issue. I just find it funny how the personalities of siblings can vary so much and how the parents have to learn to deal with each child individually. There really are no rules set in stone, thing aren’t black and white.

I think about Lila’s future everyday. These are the ramblings that go on in my head and I wonder how I will cater to her personality and to the personalities of any siblings she may have.

This parenting business is no joke.